A mother was born

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  

She never existed before.  

The woman existed, but the mother, never.  

A mother is something absolutely new.  

         ~Rajneesh

I read this quote and I loved it because it is so true.  I had no idea how to be a mom when we brought our little Lexi home.  I had a grand idea of how I wanted to be but things have not turned out that way.  They have been altered by what I have learned along the way.  I have done things that I said I would never do as a mother, and I don't think its bad.  

It is a learning process and everyday I learn new things.  Learn ways to be a better mother, whether its from doing something the wrong way and realizing it midway though or after or seeing someone else do something positive.  I am learning to be a mother just like my children are learning how to be children.  We are all in this journey together.  Being a mother gets harder and more complex the more kids we have and the older they get and they are only 4, 3 and 1.  I can't imagine what it will be like in 10 years.  

Some days I feel like I have the mom thing down pretty good (not very often) and then other days I wonder if I will make it to lunch.  It's those days that I have to really dig down deep and say what am I trying to do here?  Am I trying to get my to do list done or am I trying to be the mom my kids want and need me to be?   What is most important? This is NOT easy for me to do.  I am a list person and I love getting my stuff done, even if it is laundry.  I have to take a step back and say it's ok that the laundry won't get folded today or even tomorrow.  My kids need me to stop and just play with them right now.  I have really been trying to do this lately and I have noticed that it makes a HUGE difference in how the kids behave.  They are happier and more willing to help me do the "chores" later.   They are also so much more willing to play together later. 

So here I am a 4.5 year old Mother learning new ways to be a better mother for all the wonderful years ahead.  I love being a Mom even on the hard days.  I don't know what I would do without my kids.