Essentialism

As I was talking about painting the basement in an earlier post. I had a lot of time to listen to books and podcasts.   One of the books I listened to was Essentialism, my sister had talked to me about it and she really liked it.  So I put in on hold in Overdrive for like 2 months.  It seemed like forever.
   It is very similar to the more of less book but less about material stuff and more about our time.  Which as a mom I feel like my time is what is limited.  I only have 24 hours in  a day but yet I have to fit some sleep in somewhere.

One of the main things I learned from the whole book is that its ok to say NO sometimes  whether its so yourself or someone else.  Its not a bad thing, it might actually save you.  If you don't take that chance to say no then you will end up being stretched too thin and TRYING to do too much.  If you don't prioritize your life someone else will.  He says you will be doing all sorts of things that you don't want to be doing because you can't say no.  It might take practice to say no.   I think my thing is that I feel like I have to always be busy doing something, I like to be productful and see things get done.  But am I just being busy or am I actually accomplishing stuff.
My kids want me to play with them but I have to make dinner .... that is different than if they want to play with me and I'm trying to organize the closet for the 5th time that month.  That needs to be forgotten and cleaned out.  right?

This was one of my favorite quotes " Only once you give yourself permission to stop trying to do it all, can you make your highest contribution to things that really matter"  I love that.  Sometimes we have to give ourselves permission to say no.  He talked about how when we say no people may think we are mean or should say yes.   But they will come to respect us because we know what is important and we will do a good job at what we are committed to.    When we focus on one thing we do so much better at that thing.  What we focus on becomes what we succeed at.  I love this and when I heard this I thought that is so true and what do I want to succeed at right now?    Being the best mom I can be.  So that needs to be my focus nothing else.
He talked about priority and how just a few hundred or even couple decades ago what priority meant and what it means today.  How many priorities do you have today?  5....7..... Well priority used to mean 1..... what is priority?   what is that thing that needs to be the focus.   Then as we have moved forward and are able to do more and more things we have adjusted to more and more priorities.  I like going back to just one.  What is the one priority that I need to focus on today?  I can have other tasks but one priority that take precedence over everything else.
I haven't really had to say no to anyone else but me..... All of the things I want to do but its just not the time or season for it.  I need to make sure my priority is my family and raising good kids.

That is essential to me.

Athletes foot cured with Silver?!?

Yes I know Gross...... But lets be honest... Everyone has had a case of athletes foot at one point or another right?.....

Maybe its a third world country thing.   Once you have gone to a third world country then you have had it......

Or maybe its just me.....

Anyway...... I came up with a little bit on my big toe and I thought oh humm...... I wonder where I got that from.  Odd... where have I gone swimming lately or taken a shower.  Because that is where you get if from usually.  I can't pin point it out.  So I saw it developing on my toe there and I thought to myself I am pretty sure I just threw away all of my antifungal creams in this last week.  Because it has stuff in it I don't want on my body.  I am learning so much about how much junk and bad stuff is in lotions and other skin products.  Not good for us.  Check the ingredients on everything.  I am amazed.

So I started to spray silver on my toe a few times a day and it took a while but it cleared up and its good as new now.  I am continually amazed by Silver and I know I have said this so many times but I wish I would have known about this 30 years ago it could have saved me a lot of pain in many different ways.  I am so glad I have it in my life now. I use it daily on something.

We had a little cold come though our house this past few weeks and my daughter woke up one morning with here eye looking like this..... We have never had pink eye here so I didn't know for sure if it was.   Her eye was crusted with eye buggers that first morning then just stayed red.  She didn't say it itched so I dont know what it was.   I dropped silver in it for a few days 3-4 times a day and it got better after day 4  Whatever it was is gone and Silver did the trick again.  I love this stuff.  If you don't have it get it..... its so useful and healthy.

So I thought SILVER.... silver cures everything skin, and I have an abundance of it.  So I got one of my spray bottles that I have around the house for different reasons (sunburns, scrapes and scratches)  I would spray it on a few times a day and let it dry.
 It worked slowly but surely.  It is amazing and kills all things bacterial and fungal, even virus I believe.  Once again I shouldn't be surprised that this stuff works for everything.  We just have the have the patience that our bodies know how to heal its self with the right tools.   It does take longer to heal things and I need to remember that.   Our bodies are so smart and awesome though.

30 Day minimalist Challenge

I have had so much fun with this 30 day minimalist challenge.  The challenge is that for 30 days you get rid of one thing the first day, 2 the 2nd.   I thought there is probably no way I will make it to 30, as I have already gotten rid of so much stuff.  I'll just get as far as I can, Its good motivation.

Day 1 was a cinch.  About day 8 I was starting to struggle, and I looked around and thought I have already gone through everything...... WRONG.  I went back through my bathroom drawers and found a bunch of stuff.  Like the old toothpaste we don't use anymore because we switched to a more natural kind.   A bunch of hair clips my daughter or I haven't worn.... probably ever.   I went through my kitchen drawers and got rid of old bibs and towels I never use.  No need to keep them.  So I keep finding more and more things.

The best part about this is how great it feels to have more room and less clutter and junk around. I had a few good days of just cleaning out a lot of things so I counted the stuff for the next day and so on.  If that makes sense.

I went through our junk drawer and I found so many cords that we don't need.  I mean how many charger cords do you need maybe 3, car, kitchen and bedroom.  We don't need 12.  I  had a  few random cookbooks I had never used in 8 years so I looked though and took a few out and sent them to the DI. 

I found a box in the hall closet that had a bunch of my cds in them.  I dont ever listen to cds anymore.  I still kept my favorites because I am not ready to let go of those yet.  I kept one folder of cds between me and Jared.  That is pretty good as we used to have like 4 I think.   

I found my craft box and I loved going through there. I had a bunch of ribbon stuff from making wreaths for my door.  Stuff I knew I would never use again.  So that went away.  I also had a ton of ribbon from making bows years ago for my daughter.  No need holding on to them.  I am done making bows and don't see a reason to keep that many colors and styles of ribbon.  I kept the basic colors for projects.  

I also had bias tape that I had never used and buttons that I didn't want to keep.  No need keeping thousands of buttons.  I kept all the fun ones but some had to go.  I really want most of it gone.  I don't really see me using them soon.  If I need buttons soon I know where to get them.... almost every store for pretty cheap. 

I had so much fun going through things for the third time and still finding things to get rid of.  I have changed my mind set in the past few months of what I need to have in my home.  I love this simple way of living.  I find cleaning so much easier. I still need to tackle the toy box.  Once we have the basement done and I can move stuff down there I will fix that and put the stuffed animals in there or something.  I want to put all of the little toys in bins that  are similar. Like all the cars in one bin and they have to put one away to get another out.  I have reduced my toys by at least 75% since I started this whole minimalism mindset a few months ago and the kids don't miss anything.  They are spending more time outside and actually playing with the toys we still have.  I love it 

It was a great motivator to make me go through drawers and find missing boxes that I haven't opened since we moved.  I plan to do this again once the basement is done and I can get into my storage room again.  I know there are boxes in there that need junking.  I am excited for that.  

I also find myself storing less and less clothes for the kids.  I donate or sell the ones that were hardly worn, I keep my favorites. I just feel like I don't need to store so many.  

I highly recommend doing this challenge for anyone.  I was amazed at what I found to get rid of and guess what?   I don't miss or regret getting rid of anything.  It was all truly JUNK to me.  I didn't use it and so it was junk and just cluttering up my space.  I feel a lot less stressed about not having space or having to clean up junk.  Just take the leap and Do it.  Make sure you have a buddy too so you have some accountability ,and it makes it fun to see what else they are getting rid of.  

Hard day as a mom

Every mom has them.  Don't deny it, Whether they want to or not. As strong as you think you are.... I am strong. I don't need that help.  I never break down....   We have those days where we feel like we are failing as a parent.

Some have them  more than others.

Generally I am pretty good. I know that I am not doing it the perfect way but I am trying my best but there was one day that just was the last  straw after a long hard week.  Someone said something that just hit me and I LET it get me.  That is the key here.... I LET it get me down.  We all have the choice if we are going to let other people let us feel a certain way.  NO one can make us feel something.  We have to do it, or accept it ourselves.  Easier said than done.  This has to be practiced to control that and not let it get to us.  This day though I was just done.  I was at the end of the rope and I felt like everything was going wrong.
My kids won't listen to me. I don't want to yell at them anymore to listen.  They are annoying me, I hate to even say that but I was at that point where I just needed to be alone for a while but no, of course not. I wasn't even close to a bathroom with a lock, not that that works all the time anyways.   I was stuck in a car with them and boy where they annoying..... and they wouldn't let the littlest one sleep because he was soo tired. I needed him to sleep.  So I sat there and let it sink in and let that helpless feeling take over.  The tears came and self pity set it.   I was a terrible parent.  My kids are terrible listeners due to my lack of parenting skills.  I was that mom that the other moms look at with pity and say boy does she have her hands full, those kids are out of control.
I started to question if I can't even handle these three kids how can I want more kids.  How is that even possible?  Why do I want more?
So I went to bed feeling pretty crappy and low.  I just let it have the night I let the tears flow onto my pillow and finally fell asleep.
The next morning I was a little sad still but I had some good hopes and I had started my day with a prayer which I have been terrible at lately. Good thing there. right?  Struggles bring us down and humble us for this reason.  As I was doing my morning dishes I went to my podcast list and found one that wasn't my normal Wellness mama one because I knew that I needed a pick me up booster.  I wasn't really feeling a Conference talk. I went to this podcast called Bold New mom.  I haven't really listened to any of them because well I'm not a new mom I normally feel like I have it under control usually.

 Not today, so I skimmed though and one literally jumped out..... "Am I a good mom?"   I started to cry right there doing dishes.  That was what I needed today.  So I listened and she talked about how yes you are a good mom.. Everyone has those days but you are trying and your kids can be stinkers but they love you and as long as you are trying and doing your best then Yes! you are a good mom. Don't let other people determine if you are a good mom.  Don't compare yourself to others.
She talked about these three things that she expects of herself and this is how she judges if she is doing a good job.

Love them like crazy, even when they are crazy.

Protect them.

Teach them.

There are a lot of things that go in each of these areas but she goes into saying I teach them.  They might not always do what they are supposed to but Am I teaching them the right things?   I know I have a lot to teach them still but Am I trying to teach them.  They still have their choice and agency to choose what they want.
Well there wasn't really anything specific in there that jumped out at me but I did feel the spirit when I was listening to it and Heavenly Father did hug me and tell me you are making it...  you are doing good. Keep going. Love those kids and let them know that you love them.  Be gentle and kind.  Stop being so stubborn about certain things.  Don't let the little things frustrate you so much because that starts a landslide.  That is what really helped me to get a boost out of my slump.
I have listened to a few more of her podcasts and I like what she shares.
She also has another one that is titled When you feel like a failure.    She is just so good at explaining it and making you feel like you are normal. Kids are crazy and its ok to have a bad day here and there.  Things get better the next day.  It will get better.

I love that she is LDS too so she has some parts that she talks about things that really apply to the spiritual side of things that I can really relate to.  I have really just come to love listening to her.

So continue on and Yes you are a good mom!!!

The Wellness mama is very inspiring to me

We have been incredibly busy so once again slacker on the blog. Sorry.  Maybe when my kids are a little older and summer is over I will be better at posting on Mondays again.  For now its just going to be random, because my littles come first.

YES!  The day has finally come.....

We have finally got the basement ready for painting. Yay!  So I spent my days painting for  a week and I would listen to this new book  Essentialism.  I really really liked it and I will have a whole different post about that book because it had so many good things.  I also have been listening to the Wellness mamas podcasts. I have been using her blog for a while now.  I just love her she is so down to earth and real.  I love her story and I feel like I relate to it a little.    She also always talks about simple small things that you can do today to start your way on a healthier way.  I love that because then I don't feel so overwhelmed, because I am an all or nothing person.  I can do one little thing at a time, and she helps me do that.   She also explains things so well and has researched a lot of why and explains things so well.  I really feel like I understand the why or why not of certain healthy lifestyles she is promoting.

Here is her website if you want to take a look. https://wellnessmama.com/

There are so many things she has talked about but one of the things I like most is that she is all about teaching us to teach our kids how to be healthy.  It becomes a family thing.  We involve kids in making and learning about food and what ones are good.  Why they are good?  what they do for us?
Also when we learn something and we end up teaching it then we learn and study even more.  We become better at it.

I have listened to about half of her podcasts so far.  Some of them I don't care to listen to quite yet because they don't apply directly to me.  for example thyroid problems.  I don't have that so I would rather listen to the other ones that I can relate more to. Eventually I will listen to them though because I am sure there is still a lot of good info in them.   I think she has been doing a podcast for 2-3 years one day a week so she has over 100 of them.  They are all between 20 min and an hour about.  So I find as I do the dishes I will listen to them.  I did listen to a lot of them while I painted the WHOLE basement and it made it enjoyable.

I would highly recommend listening or reading her blog and podcast.  They have so much good info.  I am looking for more ways to be able to listen to more of them.

The more I find out about our bodies and the plants and things God has put on the earth for us. The more I am amazed.  God is so smart and we just need to research it out and use them.  He has given us so many things.  I love learning about it all and I have always loved learning about our bodies. They are so cool how they work.

Positive parenting Part 2

This book has been good but challenging for me.  I  have a lot of work to do.  I know that these are good things to implement into my parenting but its hard to change. Here are some more things I have learned from this book recently.

The closer the parents are to their children the greater the influence they can have on them.  I have thought about this a lot.  I think of now when they are little they always want to be with me.  I look for time to be without them (in a good way) because they love being by me.  I know this will change the older they get and they won't want to hang out with mom anymore.  But the closer I can keep them to me the better.  They will feel comfortable to talk to me about anything.  That is the biggest thing I want when they get older that they will feel comfortable to come to me with anything.  This starts now.  Get them to stay close.  I have to show love and kindness even when they are driving me nuts.  They need to know that I love them no matter what.

He gives a lot of example of talking to our kids.  Just in the tone we talk in we can turn them away.  We have to remain calm and not so preachy.  Don't judge, teach, sermonize, solve their problems just TALK.  I have really tried to just let the kids talk to me, they are still little and talk about silly things.  I love to hear them talk and think things through.     I know this one will be hard for me when they get older because this is just my personality is to fix the problems or advise what to do.  I do it to my husband all the time.  So I need to start practicing so when the kids get older I will be ready.   There will be times when the parent will need to instruct but this is when the spirit will work with us.  We need to be close to the spirit to know when we can instruct and not push them away so they won't want to talk.  They can feel the love we have for them if we are able to do this wisely.

He also talks about the importance of positive physical interaction.  We need to hug and kiss our kids. When they want to come cuddle with us, let them.  This will build that relationship and they will like being close to you.  I'm sure this gets harder the older they get.  It seems my kids are still in the I want to smother you mom stage.  I have tried to be a little better with my boys because they don't seem to want to cuddle as much as my daughter.

If I lose my cool quick its no wonder that my kids do. They see and they follow.  They are following example.  I need to really work on not letting things get to me or not showing that it does.  Just keep quiet about it.  This is where self control really comes into play.

He talks a lot about role playing the right situations and how to react to what happens.  This helps me to see how I can apply it to my kids and their specific situation.  This can help them know what is expected.  Make sure to have them say what is expected so they really know.  Agreeing wont always happen and that is not important.  Them understanding your expectations is what is important.
I think this also helps with them behaving better because they remember exactly what will happen if they misbehave because they repeated what was expected and what would happen after.  I have really liked this part.

When you are talking with your kids if they say something like this is stupid or anything like that.  You just ignore it and only attend to the behaviors you want strengthened.  We can show empathy and understanding but don't talk about the negative things.

It isn't the amount of time the parents talk to the child that produces the results its the amount of time and number of opportunities that child has to respond and to be actively engaged in conversation trying to solve the problem.  They need to be involved and that is how they learn.

Don't ask a child to explain their inappropriate behavior but have them explain why that isn't appropriate, this invites them to be a part of the problem solving process.
This has been a big change for me.  Its so natural to say why did you do this or that.  I have to stop myself and think about what question I need to ask.  This is probably the hardest part because I want to know what made them mad and want to hit or react that way.  So I need to really work on stopping and asking Why that isn't appropriate.  Its slowly getting better.

I really love making sure I point out the positive things they do and they build their self confidence that way too.  They know how many great things they can and are able to do. These are all really great ideas and ways to help me become a better parent.

New mom favorites

We have found some new things recently that we have loved.   Anything to make life easier and better is welcomed here.   There are a few things that we have tried lately that my kids have actually loved to use and continue to use.
The first thing are these contigo water bottles.   I got them because my sisters kids have them and she really liked them.  I figured that the kids would be able to each have their own and they might drink more water.  They drink a ton of milk and I want to get them drinking more water.  It has worked so far. They like having their own and since they have a straw they seem to drink more.     I know that I drink more than just using my nalgene bottle.  Its easier to access so I find myself drinking all day long.  They are very easy to clean as well.  I like that.  They have a pretty wide top so you can get ice in very easily.  That will come in handy this summer when its hot.   The kids just got the 24 oz ones, we got a great deal at costco in a three pack.  Then I got the bigger ones 32 oz for Jared and I.

The second thing are these mini bagels. The kids love them.  These are the cinnamon ones but we usually get blueberry or plain.  They are the perfect size for the kids.  They love eating bagels but the normal ones are usually too big and then the left over pieces become my lunch.  I would rather get these smaller ones and they can eat the whole thing.  They are fun too. They call them baby bagels.

You can see the difference in size here.  I have gotten the flat bagels before and they are great for sandwiches but these are good for kids.  

Another great things we have tried and love recently is Rose hill farm delivery for our raw milk.  It comes to me and I can pay online.  Its wonderful.  I really avoid going to the store because I always end up buying more than I need and we are trying to do all raw milk.  So this helps a lot. We still get some raw milk from our carpool as well.  I haven't decided which one I like more. So we are doing both right now.  It works out well so far. 

This one is totally for me.  Overdrive.... my "reading" days might be back  I have been listening to some books and I love it.  I don't have to have time to sit down and actually read. I am folding laundry or doing dishes when I am listening.  So I get more done at that same time.  I love it.  Along with this is podcasts.  I have discovered some pretty awesome podcast lately and they are all more of what I would love to sit down and read but now I can listen to their ideas.  Like the Wellness mama. I love her website, she is the one that gives me most of my ideas for the salves and natural stuff I am making.  I get most of those recipes for her blog and now I can listen to her and all of her great ideas.   There are fun ones about just being a mom and from the minimalists.  There are so many fun ones.  Of course Dave Ramsey I love his.  He is always motivating to listen to.   I am in love with this new feature I just discovered.