Every mom has them. Don't deny it, Whether they want to or not. As strong as you think you are.... I am strong. I don't need that help. I never break down.... We have those days where we feel like we are failing as a parent.
Some have them more than others.
Generally I am pretty good. I know that I am not doing it the perfect way but I am trying my best but there was one day that just was the last straw after a long hard week. Someone said something that just hit me and I LET it get me. That is the key here.... I LET it get me down. We all have the choice if we are going to let other people let us feel a certain way. NO one can make us feel something. We have to do it, or accept it ourselves. Easier said than done. This has to be practiced to control that and not let it get to us. This day though I was just done. I was at the end of the rope and I felt like everything was going wrong.
My kids won't listen to me. I don't want to yell at them anymore to listen. They are annoying me, I hate to even say that but I was at that point where I just needed to be alone for a while but no, of course not. I wasn't even close to a bathroom with a lock, not that that works all the time anyways. I was stuck in a car with them and boy where they annoying..... and they wouldn't let the littlest one sleep because he was soo tired. I needed him to sleep. So I sat there and let it sink in and let that helpless feeling take over. The tears came and self pity set it. I was a terrible parent. My kids are terrible listeners due to my lack of parenting skills. I was that mom that the other moms look at with pity and say boy does she have her hands full, those kids are out of control.
I started to question if I can't even handle these three kids how can I want more kids. How is that even possible? Why do I want more?
So I went to bed feeling pretty crappy and low. I just let it have the night I let the tears flow onto my pillow and finally fell asleep.
The next morning I was a little sad still but I had some good hopes and I had started my day with a prayer which I have been terrible at lately. Good thing there. right? Struggles bring us down and humble us for this reason. As I was doing my morning dishes I went to my podcast list and found one that wasn't my normal Wellness mama one because I knew that I needed a pick me up booster. I wasn't really feeling a Conference talk. I went to this podcast called Bold New mom. I haven't really listened to any of them because well I'm not a new mom I normally feel like I have it under control usually.
Not today, so I skimmed though and one literally jumped out..... "Am I a good mom?" I started to cry right there doing dishes. That was what I needed today. So I listened and she talked about how yes you are a good mom.. Everyone has those days but you are trying and your kids can be stinkers but they love you and as long as you are trying and doing your best then Yes! you are a good mom. Don't let other people determine if you are a good mom. Don't compare yourself to others.
She talked about these three things that she expects of herself and this is how she judges if she is doing a good job.
Love them like crazy, even when they are crazy.
Protect them.
Teach them.
There are a lot of things that go in each of these areas but she goes into saying I teach them. They might not always do what they are supposed to but Am I teaching them the right things? I know I have a lot to teach them still but Am I trying to teach them. They still have their choice and agency to choose what they want.
Well there wasn't really anything specific in there that jumped out at me but I did feel the spirit when I was listening to it and Heavenly Father did hug me and tell me you are making it... you are doing good. Keep going. Love those kids and let them know that you love them. Be gentle and kind. Stop being so stubborn about certain things. Don't let the little things frustrate you so much because that starts a landslide. That is what really helped me to get a boost out of my slump.
I have listened to a few more of her podcasts and I like what she shares.
She also has another one that is titled When you feel like a failure. She is just so good at explaining it and making you feel like you are normal. Kids are crazy and its ok to have a bad day here and there. Things get better the next day. It will get better.
I love that she is LDS too so she has some parts that she talks about things that really apply to the spiritual side of things that I can really relate to. I have really just come to love listening to her.
So continue on and Yes you are a good mom!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment